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If you're married, you're a pastor to your wife. If you've got kids, then you're a pastor to your family. In any marriage/family relationship, men, you are the primary pastor. The numero uno. The head honcho. Like it or not, the responsibility of teaching the Bible to your family lies with you.

Now there are lots of books out there, movies, television, magazines, you name it; they're all telling you what it means to be a man, how you can be manly, what your girl thinks is sexy, this is what real men look/act like, doing [this] makes you a good dad, etc. There are even Christian books that will encourage you to climb mountains and be outdoors-y if you want to be a "real Christian man." So how can you be a good man in your family?

Simple. Being a good man is about being a good picture of Jesus. Being a good pastor in your family means loving and shepherding, teaching and protecting, providing for and correcting. Just like Jesus. If the thought of being a pastor in your family overwhelms you or you feel inadequate, here are some great books I would recommend to you:

Treasuring God in Our Traditions by Noel Piper. This is not a how-to book (I rarely recommend how-to books). This book very simply describes some of the traditions that John and Noel Piper have in their home, and the importance of having some traditions that you can use to teach Biblical truths throughout the year and over the years as your family grows.

Family Driven Faith by Voddie Baucham. And again, this is not a parenting how-to book. I wouldn't do that to you. But there are some very difficult questions in this book that every parent must consider as they take the challenge of this book seriously. This is a convicting book that makes an overwhelming case for what the author calls "multi-generational faithfulness." The call of this book is for parents to prioritize and be intentional about teaching the Bible AT HOME. Like any book, it should be wrestled with. Men, we are the pastors in our homes - "We simply cannot fail to give our children the basic tools they need and expect the "professionals" to get the job done for us." (p. 90)

Husbands, Dads, these books could be a great first step in helping you understand "why" and what it means to shepherd (pastor) your family. Once you feel the weight of the importance of being the spiritual leader, the pastor of your home, then (with a little practical help) you'll be able to figure out the "how." This is what being a real man is all about. This is Biblical masculinity. To your wife, this is sexy. To your kids, this is the best thing you can do for them. This is being a real man.

'Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and will all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.' Deuteronomy 6.4-7 (emphasis added)